Magic

Magic has a life of its own and each persons magic has its own soul and life. I sometimes withhold the knowledge of what i do and who i am from others .....getting to know you is easier that way. I do not use the tools in the craft that you do . I like to use what i have available and what is here with me now....i do not like to wait for the correct movement of the moon for that ritual i need ....i like to make the magic i want happen when i want ...do not dictate to me or label what i am allowed to do. Use the tools you have ..the stone, the branch...the candle on the table ..but its the wrong scent and color. How do you do the magic and make the color that is wrong right? You need the magic of samhains eve? and it is june....what do you do . Make samhains even in june ..laughs. Magic has a soul and a life ...listen to her.

do vampires heal verison 2

I have a few friends that know I am vampiric and often say that being unethical goes hand in hand with being a vampire. I am not unethical and nor do I think I am a vampire like most that they have met.  I have always felt that being who and what I am means a higher sense of responsibility to those around me , I hate using the term more power however saying that I have more control of my mind and energy than most would be better.  Part of controling the dragon within you is learning you have to teach those around you to control themselves. You have to learn you have to share who you are and what you know and then we are all the dragon who is within.
I heal those around me to feed. I can really only handle deep direct feeding from lifemates with a certain connection. My emotions and my mind feel ill otherwise. I heal those around me , I admit to having bad days where I do have to pick and send heal to feed but most days its more ambient . I heal anyone near me and receive heal back from them or feed from them feeling better and more healed.  I believe we all have these abilities no matter what your chosen label may be.  I encounter those who steal energy from people around them , I do not understand why you feel this is being a vampire, it is unnoble.  I am out and cold . I send a healing spell to feel and absorb their happiness and put it within me and heal them in return.  I warmed and had a mood change in about 10 min.  Is it vampiric to steal their warmth or feed from their emotions of happiness and or heal them? I do not think stealing means you a vampire.  Sitting at my computer half asleep wanting to try a new idea...or an old one... I send a request in magic to feel others emotions for a lite candle to run thru me. A short time later ..with a giggle I send out how happy I am and ask the energy to chase and catalyst around those linked and link more.  A response , that is magic not vampirism..really?  In my mind my response is you need to relearn what being a vampire is and what it is not.
Does sharing mean you are metaphysical and not vampiric?
Does stealing mean you are a true vampire?
Does healing mean you are the opposite of a vampire and should
not use the lable?
Food for your thoughts .....

Do Vampires Heal Part One

I do not think often that i feed like other vampires or witches. I get looks of are you unethical..I give them back as well. Most of how I feed is healing and magic. I can not take energy deeply or directly , it makes me very ill. I heal everything around me to put energy in me. I have to be careful with the kind of energy I give or put into others and sometimes have to spend time on the thought.  I do heal and take negative, I do not feed from the negative . I do feed from taking the negative from you , your joy and happy emotions of feeling better.  Another way I gain energy is magic.  When out and cold I ask the magic to pull into myself happy thoughts of warm and find I feel much better.  I love elements and fire is one of my favorites..candles and the emotions of candles can knock you out.  You never pull the persons warmth , you pull their emotions of being warm.  You pull their emotions of what you want , not what you want itself.  Which version is vampirism? Laughs not the one you think....this blog is simple and short ..my mind does not like words today.

Who am I ?

I sit looking at my state id , wondering who the person was in the picture because its not me.  I look at my photo album and wonder the same. I ran away from home about 3 years ago and did not bring much or any of my old life with me.  I might be spending most of the holidays alone, not depressed happy , i really want time alone to reflect.  I look at the pictures and the name and its not me.  What do you do when no one in your life really knows who you are?  Not just a name but a person?  I want to visit my family and do not know how to go about it some times.  I am not the same person , what do I do if they notice.  A close friend who has had a personality change much as me says just be myself and let them get to know me.  It sounds so easy but so hard emotionally in my mind and heart.  Being me in the past has gotten me in a hospital.  They dont know me , so I wonder, do I know them?   I have had traumatic events psychicly the last several years and woke up after a walk one after noon and looked in the mirror, and asked if i was myself, holle. I felt too many people running me and felt something undead with no energy breathing in me ...running me.  I looked up in the mirror not looking at myself and said my guides are in my body and I am not.  The enemy runs me and together my guides and they are holle and i am not.  I said the energy around me , the calm is me ..and I asked to be that and not the pain anymore.  A voice I know said yes and told me it would not be easy and would be very painful for several years and asked if i knew who i am and what i was doing. Looked up , we have tried this for 10 years and 10 lifetimes and yes i do.  A few days later , i noticed a change in my body and felt less of my physcial pain in my body and felt , different.  I admit four and a half years later it is no easier.  Each day brings attacks and pain but still the calm is here and now its me and i am not who i used to be.  I look to the calm to center me and help me find my joy each day and my happiness is that, each day.  How do i tell people this or who i am , i always think they will think me crazy.   I never know how to ask for help even when i know i should ..i always think i really know i should not.  I watch people around me get hurt and I know it is best to let them help me , help myself instead...a happy center point to meet in.   But still the calm center inside me no longer outside me , with me longing not to hurt anymore.   I see and feel things you do not.  I feel things you can not see.  It is my joy and my happy and so is the bus are meeting new people and watching the stars at night.  

I get attacked often , i do know why , i choose not the word victim.  Make life what you will , despite evil.  

I heal people to get energy back , i know that makes me one of many but still to you a name. not to myself

my face changes in front of me as does my weight.

I can hear your thoughts and feel what you are feeling

I can hear the trees spake and the wind , you know it talks

its hard finding a bad moment sometimes hard finding a good moment but ...i will keep trying.

life makes you wonder ....but not much ...just live it 

Otherkin, its label and meaning to me

This is what I remember about species within my mind.  I am realm. Often I will not use the phrase other..or otherkin.  I am myself. The realm is not hate, your community is hate and war and fear. None of this is from my realms and it does not belong here. We did not create hate and fear and war , you did on this plain.  

There are celestial creatures that are pure energy. The only true physical shift creature are not truely physical in form , their form is energy that they can shift into different forms and change the structure of physicality, with energy and emotion.  That is an angel.  A fairy is a creature that is in a physical form that is permanent that can not shift in its entirety but can use any celestial energy of its choice at its own will.  Often fairies can shift the inside of body to repair but not the form itself.  An elf is a creature that is physical but again can not shift that has within the energy of the planet or place it resides in that uses that planets energy only.  Much like a fairy can shift the inside of body but not form.  A human is a creature that can have any of those forms but is one with all forms , one soul and personality and one emotional grouping .  I am not human in that regard , i have many forms and not one soul the same in all or one emotional group.  Humans are much more stable metaphysically than creatures like me and tend to understand higher energy better and are better guides.  Humans use the spirits energy directly and the spirit abilities.  What I am is confusing and takes time and patience to understand and master but i would not trade what i am.  Species in the realm are energy and emotional and soul in origin, not physical or in appearance. We tend to change our appearance at will. Sexuality is also soul and emotion , not form , you can change your parts at will ...but some emotions are only supported by certain sexual forms.  To have the emotions , you must have certain parts and you must meet certain conditions ..it is wise to understand before making a change or wise to ask options.  Part of my job is counseling those that need to make these changes.    The  realm creatures do not have hate or fear , you created this evil , not us.  We do not understand your hate , it is painful for us.  We do not often use spoken language in the realm , we use nature spake , use nature elements to talk , not direct but from abiliity from mind.  We do not use names but emotional or soul meaning , not spoken.  

I see all the arguements about otherkin.  I just want to ask a few things.  Why would higher beings bring you pain and war and hatred of each other and yourselves.  Why would they hurt you? This is not being a higher being , choose to step higher and loose the hate and fear and the war will stop.  Look to the meaning and not the label . I just choose to use the labels so you may understand the world I come from , thank you 

Gabrieal