when to use magic and when not too

when to use magic and when not too. i dont go into too much on my blogs who i am sometimes and whats in my life , i thought it was time too.  before i go into misuse of magic , i should go into who i am.  I am just going to type it and whether you believe or not is up to you but i believe who i am , or is it what, laughs.

I am a realm creature , my insides are not like a humans nor is any my body.  I have the odd moments where my blood comes out orange and rose gold and then where my face and body change daily.  my weight is 220 one day and next 40lbs more...it is stupid. most days i want to be me and look like me, i remind me that i am a soul not a body and i need to calm down.  I am a healthy person and i know i can out run you every day.  laughs.  

most of my memories as a child involve me watching myself, some do not.  i do not incarnate i walk from the realm and do an illusion.   i am almost always here in some form sometimes forms.   i do not always age but almost always the longing to live here with , life.  My fondest wish is always to return the magic to the earth realm , return the life, the color and the joy.  I am an ancient , the word for that in the realm is , one of them...cherubium.  i am a lot angel , fae and nature ...they call me a serabium.   I have very strong odd abilities and tend to get attacked as a result.  I smile and say i will help you make your own that you can have , can not get eaten that way and still they try to eat my energy  and my body.  would you not rather have your own that is just yours??  why would you want to eat me.   

i have a lot of pain, it comes and goes.   most of it is emotional pain , they seem to know i am realm and know how to hit me hard. it is a mixed up jumble of spells.  they put in spells to take my pain , then an emeny twists it into putting pain in me and puts a soul in it to help the pain.  I am a metaphysical creature made physical that is realm so the magic mutates and turns into an undead monster.  i am so tired of pain and hurting. tired of being alone and not knowing who to ask for help to.   I seldom really trust anyone, you have not earned it , but i would try...and maybe should try harder.  I hate not being in control when i am dealing with others and i am right not too, i have complete strangers attack me in public verbally , evil makes no sense.  

i am an angel...not like you

i am from the realm , my city is called acamentante

I miss home but when home miss this home, i want them in one place to ease my mind .  

when i am remaking me i loose the ability to see and hear them, i have to rely on blind faith to know they are here with me and i always do.  i can not hear my beloved angels or fairy sing or see the magic in the air.  i can not hug my children.   it hurts.  i would not trade this , its my love and my responsiblity.  i dont want to be in the realm dying any more..nor do the realm creatures .  we have come home....believe..laughs

my job is not an easy one....but i am glad it is mine

archangel gabriel