The Gift of Revist

Have you ever been pissed off enough to revisit someone with what they visit you? What if it is bad enough that you know they will pass out, is it still ethical. I do try to remember that often the person behind the magic is the victim as I can not view myself as the victim. I have tried to remember that and its not making my heart soften. If I dont feel them scream I will go insane. I need them to scream , i need the fear , i need them to die. What makes me a monster , that thought or liking that thought..and not thinking theres a thing wrong with that thought? I dont know and that is why I am a monster. Do not piss me off , I visit you with you visit me...times three so please be sure you want to visit me with your magic before you do it please. I do not have the ethical system you do and making you feel pain is fun, fuck you. On a different note , I am more me today, looking out my window...what am i supposed to do?? I do not feel the emotions you do, I see things you do not. I feel what i see , I feel what i move. The world appears in layers of magic and it is a joy to me. Just being alive is a joy. I do not wonder if the battle to get this far was worth the time , the effort is always worth being. What do you do when you know each day is a battle to stay living , you keep going. I just want to be alive , and I want all of you to know what I know ...life never ends. The balance is not life or death , the balance is .....their is no end to life, no end to joy , no end to magic ...no end to love. I want you to know a life without hate and fear. Life without a word but a thought, life without a gender , without a name or a species. I want you to have that joy , tis why i am here. The price I pay for being here is one I pay gladly to teach you these things. I do wonder why I have to pay.... and why you want your world to end so badly and why creatures of the undead exist in your world. Why do I pay with pain , daily ...so you do not have to. They ask me why not ask for help.....I do , be my friend...be living that is a help to me. Know ....loose the fear , they eat you with that, they end you with hate. Loose the enemy of hate and fear and then your battle begins. Do not make me battle alone...we must all fight the enemy of hate and fear to win. Find you joy in everyday and your happiness in all things .....I do Gabrieal